and so I thought to myself "why is it that certain people make me freeze up?" As I looked at her sitting on my bed I couldn't help to think about how badly I wanted to be sitting next to her, making her smile, having her think of me as interesting and curious to what my life was like. Is that selfish? Am I being a narcissist? Possibly.
But that doesn't take away from the attraction.
Every girl I've met has been the same. Shallow. Vapid. Not too much really going on inside there. Pretty faces are no substitute for petty thoughts. But I digress.
You are still sitting on my bed. I have no conversation to offer. I'm frozen. I've put you on a pedestal and I don't know how to bring you down. I should be telling you this in person but I don't know how. Were you a random person on a random night at a random party it would be different. But I know you. I know your story. I know what you'v been through and I know it hasn't been easy. I know that you are different and that scares me. Pursuing you would take me out of my confort zone. And the walls to that area are so thick it would take much more that a sense of infatuation to break them.
I took to long. You've decided to get up. I thought we shared a connection earlier but I guess I was wrong. I'd like you to know that you make me nervous.
But you are gorgeous.
I have to be at work at seven in the morning. why am i awake?
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